We’ve all encountered a child who seems to feel everything just a little more intensely—whether it’s joy, frustration, sadness, or excitement. While some might chalk it up to a phase or a quirky personality, there’s more to it than that. What we’re talking about here are deeply feeling kids (DFKs), children whose emotional responses are not just strong, but often overwhelming. These kids are more sensitive than what might be considered the “norm,” and their emotions are more vivid, more extreme, and often more challenging for both them and the adults around them to manage.
What Are Deeply Feeling Kids Like?
At their core, DFKs have intense emotional reactions to almost everything. Imagine a child who bursts into tears over a minor disappointment, but also laughs louder than anyone else during a funny moment. Or perhaps you’ve seen a child become utterly enraged over a slight change in routine, yet the same child can also experience overwhelming joy in the simplest of moments. These are the kids who feel deeply and express those feelings in ways that seem outsized for the situation.
The emotional spectrum for DFKs isn’t limited to negative feelings. One of the key characteristics of deeply feeling kids is that they experience both positive and negative emotions intensely. They might feel uncontainable joy or overwhelming sadness, making it challenging for them to process and regulate their feelings in the moment.
Because of their heightened sensitivity, deeply feeling kids may also struggle to manage these emotions on their own. They might have difficulty shifting from one emotional state to another or may need more time than others to “bounce back” from a tough situation. This can often make them seem like they’re on an emotional rollercoaster, where the highs are high and the lows feel bottomless. So the DFKs may resort to isolating themselves to manage their feelings.
How to Care for a Deeply Feeling Kid
Caring for a deeply feeling child can feel like an emotional workout. But understanding what’s going on behind those emotional outbursts can help you offer the support they need. Here are a few ways to better care for a deeply feeling kid:
- Acknowledge Their Feelings
One of the most important things you can do is to validate their emotions. While it might feel like a minor issue to you—like not being able to wear their favorite shirt or missing an activity—it’s a big deal to them. Instead of brushing off their feelings, listen to them and offer empathy. Say things like, “I can see this is really hard for you,” or “It’s okay to feel upset about that.” - Create a Safe Emotional Space
DFKs need to know that their feelings are not only understood but also safe to express. Encourage them to talk about what’s going on inside their heads, even if they don’t have the words for it. Let them know that it’s okay to feel big emotions, and help them understand that it’s the way they express those emotions that they can work on. - Teach Coping Skills
Since DFKs often struggle to manage their emotions, teaching them healthy coping strategies is essential. Simple techniques using words or gestures to express their feelings or channel their emotional energy through a creative outlet, like painting,can give them tools to manage their reactions when things feel overwhelming. Encourage the adoption of these methods in moments of calm with them so they feel more comfortable using them when they are emotionally overwhelmed. - Set Limits and Boundaries Another way to help the DFKs navigate their emotional world, is to establish clear, consistent limits and boundaries. Setting limits not only helps children understand what is expected of them but also provides them with a sense of security. For DFKs, who may find uncertainty or unpredictability overwhelming, having predictable routines and clear expectations can significantly reduce anxiety and emotional outbursts.
- Manage Change with Predictable CuesFor DFKs, sudden changes in plans or transitions can feel like emotional whirlwinds. Because they often process events more deeply, unexpected shifts can be a significant source of stress and dysregulation. Providing them with a predictable and structured approach to transitions can help them navigate change with more resilience.
Real-Life Example: Helping a DFK Cope With Big Feelings
Take the case of 6-year-old Yves, a child who tends to have big emotional reactions. One evening, Yves’s parents were preparing dinner when she suddenly started sobbing uncontrollably because her favorite stuffed animal, Bunny, was left in the living room. Her parents, at first, didn’t understand why she was so upset—after all, Bunny was just across the room and easy to retrieve.
But after taking a moment to step into Yves’s shoes, her parents realized that the stuffed animal represented security for her—a comfort she leaned on during moments of stress. Rather than dismissing her reaction, they acknowledged her feelings and reassured her that Bunny would be brought to her soon. This allowed Yves to calm down more quickly, feeling both heard and cared for.
This small moment illustrates how empathy, patience, and validation can help a deeply feeling child regulate their emotions and begin to work through overwhelming situations.
When to Seek Professional Support
While many deeply feeling kids will naturally grow and develop ways to manage their intense emotions, there are times when professional support may be beneficial. If a child’s emotional intensity is interfering with their day-to-day life, their ability to make friends, or their academic performance, seeking help from a therapist or counselor can provide them with tools to better understand and manage their feelings.
A mental health professional can help identify any underlying conditions such as anxiety, ADHD, or sensory processing challenges that may be contributing to the child’s emotional responses. Early intervention can equip both the child and their family with coping strategies that can improve emotional regulation and overall well-being.
Empowering Your Deeply Feeling Kid
Deeply feeling kids may seem like they’re on an emotional rollercoaster, but with the right support and understanding, they can learn to navigate their feelings in healthy ways. As a caregiver or parent, your role is to offer empathy, create a safe space for emotional expression, and guide them as they learn to manage their emotions. Remember, these deeply feeling kids are often incredibly empathetic, self-aware, compassionate, and creative—qualities that can serve them well throughout their lives. With your support, they can learn how to channel their emotional depth into a strength.We at Healing Pathways Counselling understand that emotions can feel overwhelming sometimes. We offer a safe space where children can talk about their feelings, learn new coping methods, and feel supported. If your child isstruggling with big emotions, we’re here to help!
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