For something so simple, rest can be surprisingly difficult. You sit down to relax, but your thoughts keep going, your body stays tense, and before you know it, you’re checking your email again. The only way to calm those thoughts in the moment feels like picking up your phone, but let’s explore. If that sounds familiar, you’re not alone. In a culture that often rewards doing over being, many of us find rest uncomfortable. We may even feel guilty for not being productive. But rest is essential for your overall well-being so you can feel more efficient and successful in your ambitions.
Why We Struggle with Rest
Part of the challenge is biological. When you are stressed or constantly on the go, your nervous system shifts into “fight or flight” mode. Even when you do stop, your system doesn’t always get the message right away. It takes time for the body to return to a calm, regulated state.
But the discomfort with rest goes deeper than just biology. For many, it’s also emotional.
- Rest can feel unsafe if you have learned to tie your self-worth to your achievements.
- Staying busy can be a way to avoid uncomfortable feelings—grief, uncertainty, or a sense of emptiness.
- Doing more can feel like control. And control often feels safer than stillness.
The Cost of Constant Productivity
Over time, this cycle takes a toll. Chronic busyness is linked to anxiety, depression, sleep issues, burnout, and even physical health problems like migraines and high blood pressure. Many people don’t notice the impact until their bodies force them to.
And despite what we’re taught, more work doesn’t always mean better work. Rest improves focus, creativity, emotional resilience, and even long-term productivity.
What Rest Actually Looks Like
Let’s look at a different perspective towards rest. Rest isn’t just sleep or doing nothing, it comes in many forms:
- Active rest: walking, stretching, creating
- Passive rest: napping, watching a show, listening to music
- Micro rest: short breaks throughout the day
- Macro rest: weekends off, vacations, unplugged time
The key is asking: What actually feels restorative for me?
Letting Go of Productivity Guilt
Many of us were taught, directly or indirectly, that rest is something we have to earn. That it’s only deserved after the to-do list is complete, the inbox is cleared, the house is clean, or everyone else’s needs have been met. Only then, maybe, can we pause, but here are
A few gentle ways to start:
- Set boundaries between work and downtime: Try creating a clear end to your workday. That might mean logging off at a set time, closing your laptop, or changing into comfortable clothes to signal the shift into rest mode.
- Try a “shutdown ritual” at the end of your workday: Rituals can help the brain transition. Write down anything unfinished so your mind doesn’t hold it overnight and take a short walk or shower to reset.
- Schedule breaks like you would any other commitment: Put rest on your calendar. Assess how this works out for you in a couple of weeks.
- Notice the inner voice that says: “I haven’t done enough,” and gently question it.
Where did I learn that my worth depends on how much I get done?
How Therapy Can Support You
Therapy can support you in:
- Understanding why rest feels uncomfortable
- Exploring the deeper beliefs that link your worth to productivity
- Learning how to slow down without guilt or fear
- Reconnecting with rest as something nourishing, not earned
At HPC, we offer a safe space to explore these patterns and begin healing your relationship with rest. We are here when you are ready.
References
https://www.psychologytoday.
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